Smiling's my favorite!

So we took our holiday pictures during the Thanksgiving break, and even though I thought it would make me sad, it wasn't bad. The truth is, the kids and I have so much fun together that any regret was overshadowed by a good time.

I think I just finished one of the best weekends in a long time. I got to catch up with friends on Friday night, had coffee/tea and seriously people watched with my Carrie Saturday morning, spent time with Ivey and her friends Saturday and then had a date night with my dude. We had dinner and then went to Pete's Piano Bar. It was great (yes, I had my "baby" in a bar...let the judgement begin), we both had fun, and it was fabulous to get to spend the evening with him. Today, I got to spend the day with Ivey, and we pulled Christmas decorations out of the attic, put them out (no tree this year because we decided we didn't want one). Pulling the stockings out was the first sad time I've had in a while. More for the fact that I didn't exactly know what to do. We have four matching stockings. I picked three of them out, and put one back in the box and put it back up in the attic. The split second moment of uncomfortableness ended with me and Ivey laughing about something silly, they are hung, and all's good in the world again.

We made a wreath, I made my cinnamon smelly stuff that made the house smell like Christmas, baked some candy (wrong, Indi, dirty and wrong of you to introduce me to that and then let me know how easy it is to make), baked banana nut bread, and chicken enchiladas.

Now, I think I'll go watch Elf.

Really new things!

Wow! There's exciting things happening! I can't tell everything right now, but it just feels right. You know how when you think of something and whether it might be the right thing and you can't think of one reason you shouldn't?

It means lots less stress for me, and for others, and that makes me even happier. It means for more family game nights and my liver may or may not forgive me. Just saying...

I had a great weekend. I got to witness the wedding of an adorable couple who, even though I see weddings often now and am sometimes critical, I was actually proud to see get married. They are sweet and so in love, it was such a pleasure getting to be a part of it all. I got to spend the evening with two cousins and the boyfriend of one, whom I adore. Two other friends worked the event and it was a pleasure getting to be a part of their fine work. Another friend was my date and it was a pleasure getting to be next to my bff and experience it all (all of it) together.

Speaking of the bff, Heather and Feesh have put a contract on a house and I am so excited I could pee my pants. Not only is it a spectacular house (it is spectacular!!!!), it's close, it means they will be together and I love that more than anything. I love him more and more for her every time I am with him. They are so crazy in love and it is so beautiful to see someone you love so very much be loved so genuinely. Mimi and I got to have dinner with his parentals, and it was like we were meeting our new in-laws. It was great, and I look forward to many, many more of those dinners.

I spent the day today relaxing (for those of you doubting, I really did!), and then made new plans that impact a lot. I am turning my garage into a studio apartment for a friend. It will help me with expenses, and help them with rent, and will be great for everyone. I am super excited. It relieves a lot of pressure and stress for finances from me and also will have another set of eyes and ears for the kids, and hands to help around here, and "friend X" is good in the yard!!!!

I am on vacation allllllllll week this week! Going to Thanksgiving with family for the first time in 6 or 7 years. More soon. Promise.

Overall, though, things are looking up. Have a happy thanksgiving and tell those you love why you love them. Don't miss the opportunity, you may not get another.

memoirs of a dating girl

I have been asked a bunch of times to write down the funny dating stories I've experienced. I promise I will, but I just don't think I can publish them, at least right now. So many of the subjects read my blogs or may stumble upon them.

Let's just suffice to say that they are funny, and people are weird, beyond weird actually. And I know I don't even have the best stories that I've heard. So tell me your's!

It's safe, we're all friends here, right?

letter to my 16 year old self

I keep seeing tweets people are writing to their 16 year old seves. Of course, it makes me wonder what I'd want my 16 year old self to know. Here it goes:

Stranger danger is real. Candy in white vans is a bad idea. Always.
Proudly be the only one who doesn't do drugs, get high, have crazy sexcapades, get wasted often. Being the one who remembers everything, feels ok the next day and your brain cells are worth it. No one's ever been regretful they didn't alter their mind quite enough.
Finish school. Go as far as you can right now, it will never be easier and you'll never regret it. Even if you choose a lukewarm major, no one can ever take that away from you.
Know where to go when you need love. Know who gives hugs freely and warmly and without expectations and don't forget to reciprocate.
Your hair doesn't have to be that freaking big. Not at all necessary.
Morals and standards should be something you negotiate only with yourself. No one else.
In everything you do, put yourself into it. Whether its a piece of art, your writing, making a burger or planning a party. You will show you to the world, allowing them to experience that but you will experience more of life that way, too.
Make decisions based on what you want; don't sacrifice for others. If they are worth anything, they will still be there.
If someone tells or shows you they aren't good enough for you, believe them.
Wear sunblock!!!!!
Don't hide who you are. Being the best you you can be allows those around you the freedom to be the best them they can be.
If you are confused in any kind of relationship, something's wrong with it. Let it go and if it is meant to be, it will work itself out. If it doesn't, something better will take it's place.
Don't be afraid of falling in love. You will get hurt, and deeply. It will still be worth it.
Dare yourself to fail as often as you can. For every time you will fail, you will succeed many more times.
If you like something, say so. If you don't, say so.
Sometimes people won't like you. And sometimes that has nothing, in no way, not anything to do with you.
Learn to speak spanish.
Start eating better today. Don't ever quit exercising. It will be sooo much easier if you never stop.
You have no idea how amazing you look right now. Appreciate it. Moisturize and hydrate.
Take more pictures.
Date a lot of different types of people. Learn who you are and what you want.
Save more money.
Credit is bad. Just say no.
Ask for advice about big decisions. Don't take them on by yourself.
Worry less about keeping up with and impressing others and more about being present and experiencing laughter, love and joy.
Do yoga every day.
Read more books.
Write your family notes.
Have a trademark.
Take time to be with your friends more.
Learn to cook and do it well. Trust me, you'll need that!
Don't let your cosmetology license expire.
Know you are loved.

so on and so forth

So it's been a crazy couple of weeks. I feel like I haven't even seen more than a few minutes at a time of Hunter or Ivey. I send them text messages every couple of days to make sure they know I'm still alive and to make sure they still remember me. Of course, I'm being silly, but we haven't really spent much quality time together. Really. Once two events that are coming up are completed and wildly successful and the y-dub's year end is behind us as the most successful to date, things will be much less hectic. I have to say I'm looking forward to being bored for a minute.

Yesterday I got a call from my inlaws who asked if they could spend some time with me this weekend and it made my day, honestly probably my week. Not only do I miss them terribly, it feels really terrific to know that they want to spend time with me bad enough to make it happen. I'm looking forward to seeing them, giving them piece of mind that I'm really ok and of course knowing I will have a great time with them as always.

Heather's been out of town for what seems like a month and a half. I don't think its been that long, but I get to have some H time this weekend, too! :)

Tonight I had a rehearsal for an event on Sunday. On my way home I called the kids to find out that Ivey was going to the mall with her friend Susan and her mom and Hunter was at work. The one night I was coming home reasonably early and they were both gone. Poop. Just as I was hanging up from that call, my grandmother called. I ended up getting an impromptu dinner with my grandparents. We sat and talked about philanthropists in Fort Worth, old airports, funny family members and my grandfather told me about the day I had my son and he cried while he told me about it. It was one of the sweetest moments we've ever shared that I remember. Right there at Rosa's he told me how proud he was of me while my grandmother was gone getting him some more diet coke. Poignant, huh?

Looking at his hands tonight, his age was underscored to me and I was reminded once again how lucky I am to not only still have them on the planet, but to be able to have impromptu dinners with them and enjoy their company. My grandmother told me about her women's league softball team that took first place in the league and her co-ed team that took second last week. How cool is that? The obvious love they still have for each other after 61 years of marriage is inspiring and beautiful and makes me proud beyond measure. They hold hands and steal kisses at my kids school events. Put simply, it's adorable.

I'm intentionally not mentioning the fact that in two weeks my kid will be turning eighteen years old. Two weeks. I have equal parts sadness and excitement for him and am just plain scared shitless about how things will change. Enough about that. I'm super excited about having made plans for a girls' trip in the Spring. Look out Nawlins, we're coming--don't say you weren't warned. :)

its coming!

Windows are open, pool's too cool to swim in, its getting to be that time of year. That time of year where we begin to get crazy busy and hectic headaches from the frenzy of activity. We also, if we're smart, pause to appreciate and reflect the many many beautiful things in our world.

This year, although it's certainly had its share of life-changing moments that I wish hadn't had to happen, has been one huge flashlight on the beauty in my world. I am thankful for each of these things:

A son who is responsible and smart and I am proud to say ready to tackle his future with an open mind and heart. He is such a cool person and I'm not just saying that because I'm his mother. He's a neato human being. Really neato.

A daughter who is equal parts one of my best friends and the biggest pain in the butt I've ever known. She makes me laugh, teaches me patience and reminds me on a daily basis all the lessons I have taught her (irony is a funny thing). She's beautiful from the inside out and I'm proud to know her.

My family, the big, loud, dysfunctional at times, crazy-looking-family-tree with multiple branches that have the same title. The inlaws, outlaws, distant and close. All of them, each and every one. Those who have passed away, for the times we had with them and those we still have the opportunity to make more memories with.

The opportunity to work in a place I still love to go every day. It has changed immensely since the day I started, but through all the changes, the difference being made in lives is inspiring now more than ever and I love being on the sidelines and having a front row seat for those transformations.

My wonderful, funny, quirky, crazy girlfriends. Each of you serves a very different role, and I appreciate and love you all. The vegans, the carnivores, the moms, the non-moms, my mom, the ones with their girl cards and lots of makeup and frills and those without, the hippies, the conservatives, the ones who text late at night and make me laugh til I cry and pee my pants, the ones I laugh with, the ones I cry with, the ones who call me every week or two asking to go to lunch (and that I happen to miss every single time :(), the ones who are actually related to me and the ones who call themselves family, the divorced ones, the divorcing ones, the never married, the getting married ones, the yoga friends, the lunch buddies, the wine friends, the ones I rarely see, the call me when there's a mum emergency friends, the ones who send inappropriate pictures, the ones who can hear my voice and know somethings wrong (or very very right), the new ones, the old ones, the ones I can't live without and the ones I definitely couldn't live with. In many years, we will look back on our having raised these fabulous families (or not) and all the laughs, fun, and not fun fondly. Here's to many many more chapters to our books both together and separately.

My guy friends, too. My friends, my friends boyfriends, husbands, brothers, etc. I appreciate and love you, too.

My little piece of the earth. I love my back yard and even though it is not big, or fancy or new, it is home and has love and is comfortable and makes me happy. It still needs a completed master bath, but is oh so close-closer than its been in a looooong time. I love that with a second job and a commitment by a great ex-husband a girl could ask for, I have been able to stay in the house and allow the kids to have a little less trauma in their world.

Speaking of him, I am thankful for Josh. Seriously. He and I had a lot of great years together and he continues to be not only a great dad, but still a great friend to me. I love knowing that I have him in my corner and that he truly has my back. Learning from our mistakes in our relationship has given me a great starting point for a new one. I know many couples who have been divorced much longer who haven't yet reached the same level of friendship and its in no small part because he's a really great dad. I'm thankful we got through the past year with only a few small roadbumps and are where we are today.

Family game night. Silly fun and the greatest stress relief ever. Gosh we're loud!

I have at least ten kids who call me mom. That makes me happy and I'm thankful for you all.

For being healthy knowing people who are having to actively work hard to be that way.

Having the opportunity to give back to my community and all the friends I've made doing it. I'm thankful for the feeling it gives me and for my friends who humor me. Your willingness to be "voluntold" is much much appreciated.

Experiences I've had meeting new people, dating, the fun I've had, the lessons I've learned and things I've figured out about myself and others. The lessons I have yet to learn but will. I'm thankful for it all.

Pedicures with friends, even though no one else in the nail place is thankful we are there. We are loud and have a great time just like in yoga, as if no one else is there. :)

I am told at least twice a week that my life makes someone else tired. I am thankful for it all, exactly the way it is. I am also thankful for you. Yes, you. Thanks for your role-whatever that looks like, whether big or small, continuing or past tense in my life.

Enjoy the fall, appreciate the holidays and don't fret too much on the things that don't matter and spend lots of time on all the many things that do.

the man of my dreams

Since the day you found your way into my world, you swept me off my feet. You made me pay attention to the decisions I made, you saved me from myself. You have helped me grow up and become a better person. You helped me learn things I could not have learned in any other way or from any other person. You make me laugh, you make me nervous, you make me excited about the future, you make me smile, you show me things I didn't know before, you help me look further than I thought possible. You force me to look at things from another perspective and thus see things I would otherwise be unable to see.

And someday I know, you'll be the man of someone elses dreams, too. But until then, I will enjoy having you somewhat to myself. I love you, Hunt. I hope you always know whereever you go, however you go and whatever you do, I will be right here behind you.

Love,
Your biggest fan.


Today was a fantastic day (brought to you by the letter F and the number 17). Hunt and I ate lunch together at Spiral Diner and then donated a bit of our blood for someone who needs it worse than we do right now. After a nap (WOOHOO!), we went to the Fall Indi Fest. We shared an Italian yummy dinner, listened to some great music, some fabulous music and some other too. :) We saw a poignant short film that still disturbs me a bit, but I'm glad I saw it. We saw some great art and I fell right in love with the Lovesac they had in the theater. We just had a great day together. Hunter, today was the stuff a Mama's dreams are made of. Thank you for letting me pretend to be cool enough to hang with you. It means alot.