Today we attended the funeral service for a sweet friend who died way too early. Exactly how she died has still not been pinpointed and until that happens, we will all have unanswered questions. We had an annual girls' trip scheduled for months and it is finally here this weekend, and Chelle was scheduled to be there. We will no doubt laugh lots about her (mostly at her expense) and she provided us lots of ammunition. Her death and Bobby Godbee's, too, has made me think lots of mortality and exactly what it means. Both of their deaths have had huge impacts. My best friend commented that this is the reason she doesn't get close to people, because when they are gone it hurts too bad. Having known people that have died and everyone sort of scratched their heads and said, "Oh, that sucks", but really without any feelings, I've realized a couple of things. Living your life in such a way to grow deep, fat roots in your world, community, family, etc. is the right thing to do. It has significant impact in how satisfying of a life you live because it's what it means to be actively living your life and when you are gone, yes, they will mourn deeply, but will also keep the roots planted under their feet. Their roots are now grown in and through and around yours and even though your flowers no longer grow, their flowers can use your roots as well as their own, and will grow even more beautiful than would be possible for either of you alone and so you live on through them. To see the gaping holes left by Michelle and Bobby makes it clear they both did something very very right.
I've been surprised in the past few days how petty people can be. (disclaimer: if you are reading this thinking I am talking about you, this has been a theme that I have witnessed for a couple of weeks and have seen it in every setting in my life, so rest assured you are not targeted alone--but, if the shoe fits...) Some people have real problems. Cancer, their children dying, brain bleeds, homelessness, and a whole litany of other awful things I could go on about only to depress us both. Whether or not someone said something in a way that hurt your feelings, whether you're inconvenienced by something, or have a (in the grand scheme of things) small problem really doesn't matter. Get the chip off your shoulder, quit whining and being a drama queen and think of someone other than yourself. Things don't always go as expected. That doesn't mean they aren't perfect exactly the way they are, and exactly the way they aren't. Expect the best in people, forgive quickly and for goodness sake, let it go. It's in your best interest and theirs, too. Especially in light of the fact that our days are finite and we must make the best of what we have.
