breakthroughs

You know how when things are good, you just roll through on auto-pilot often without noticing what is happening around you or within you? And it takes something happening, unfortunately usually negative, to give you the jolt to become aware again? That's not to say that you don't appreciate things but you aren't actively learning about yourself and the world you live in and how.

Being home alone in the pool or on the couch without background noise, with nothing but my thoughts is very peaceful and I'm super proud of that.

I absolutely LOVE what is happening at the y-dub. We are evolving and making more of a difference for more people and that is beautiful to watch. To see such passion in those I get to spend every day with and the depth they have to make things happen is inspiring to say the least. I also LOVE coordinating weddings. Really throwing yourself into someones special day and trying to make sure it is perfect, fun, memorable and thinking of all the things they didn't is super fun. I love the people I get to work with there, too! As it turns out, there's not much better place to be a single woman than at a wedding. either!

Learning to love people and my world exactly the way it is and exactly the way it isn't was a powerful lesson and takes practicing every single day.

Being frightened doesn't have to shut you down. The things I have been most scared of have been my proudest achievements.

I used to think my being willing to trust others and what they say was naive. I now realize it is something only a strong person can do.

A small thing such as having my pool cared for by someone else makes all the difference in the world for me and my stress level.

Master bathroom toilet seats staying put was definitely underrated for 20 or so years of my life.

I have the most incredible, strong, passionate, loving, generous friends around me and I have finally realized there is a reason for this and that makes me smile. I hope to give you all as much as you have given and give me.

My go-to life-coach is my stepdad. I love him because he's my moms husband, but its more than that. He doesn't fix things for me or even try. He listens to whatever I have to say, and I can tell him anything at all about anyone at all. He listens without making me feel silly or wrong or stupid and knows me well enough to ask me the questions that have me find the answers. That's a beautiful thing to have in the world. My wish is that everyone have a "poppy" that they can go to.

I am aware of the strong, healthy friendships and why they are that way and who they are with. I am also aware of those fragile ones and why they are. I am also aware of those that are broken and some I know exactly why and some I'm not sure about. I am thankful for each of them anyway because I believe people come in and out of our lives for a reason and hopefully we both gained something, even if it was small.

I still don't love to cook. Fortunately I have friends that do.

Seeing someone you love with all your heart be loved by someone else is heart melting and a beautiful thing. Seeing someone you love be not treated right and compromising themselves is conversely the hardest thing to watch.

Being able to laugh until we cry with someone without even knowing why is part of one of the deepest friendships I have ever known.

I love being able to sleep on either side of the king-sized bed or smack dab in the middle.

Sometimes its the little things that make us smile and sometimes its the big crater sized things.

Fast sports cars are both fun and can be bad at the same time.

on my mind...

If someone acts with a disregard for your feelings, they are either so grossly self-absorbed they don't realize it, selfish they don't care or damaged they can't tell the difference. At any rate, nothing you do can change any of those three so let them go and hope that they will work it out for themselves.

Every person must be whole before they can enter into another relationship and have it be successful.

Timing is everything. If you don't believe it, ask someone whose child just got hit by a car, who just had a baby, who just found out they had a terminal disease or won the lottery. Sometimes it works for you and sometimes it works against you. For now.

Sometimes the greatest of all blessings are those things you wished and hoped for the very most--that didn't happen.

Actions speak louder than words. Words are poetic and can be beautiful or not, but what someone does is where its at.

If someone does me wrong, I can do nothing about that. I can only do something about my reaction, whether I let it continue to hurt me or make me angry. I also can control whether I allow myself to continue that cycle and do the same thing to others. I can choose to do better and not leave a string of damaged relationships behind me in my wake. Learn a little more about yourself from each challenge and it will all be worthwhile.

Don't be afraid to give yourself fully. Its the only way to experience life completely. At the same time, don't make someone a priority if they only make you an option.

Life is short, if somethings confusing, move on. It shouldn't be that hard. Time will usually clarify it.

We never have a guarantee of tomorrow so live each day as though it may be your last.

Happiness is a work in progress and its ok to be unrelenting in its pursuit. Smile. Its good for you. Pass it on. Do something kind for someone else for no reason or expectation of reciprocation. Challenge yourself to do something every day to make your little piece of the world a better place. Write it down. I'd love to know what it is you're doing.

Boring update - almost no mush this time.

I have been working the new job-- as a wedding and event coordinator at the Bell Tower in Fort Worth. The Bell Tower is run and operated by ACH (formerly All Church Home). The property it sits on used to be the Masonic Children's Home near the Polytechnic area of FW that was closed down several years ago. A family bought it and donated it to ACH and they are renovating it building by building. The Bell Tower Chapel was renovated first as a revenue generator for their programs and there are several coordinators, me being one. I absolutely love it. It is super hard work and can be very stressful, but is also amazing and fun. It is a lot less hours than HD, mostly just Saturdays and/or Sundays, so I am off all nights during the week, which is great. I actually get to see the kids! I am quite aware often of how fortunate I am to have a job I absolutely love going to every day with people I love working with every day. And now to have two very different jobs that I really enjoy seems somehow unfair, but I'm not giving either back.

Hunter has quit his job at Sonic - he is going on an adventure. I am not sure at all what that means, but love it for him, so long as his car insurance continues to be paid on time. :) Speaking of that - he was putting his shoes on while driving the stick shift and somehow the lady in front of him stopped at the light rammed her rear bumper right into his front bumper - tragic. So, if you see Hunter walking about town, honk and wave, please.

Ivey has quit working at NRH20. She is looking for another job, but since she's only 15, is having a hard time. I am not sad she can't find a job, but she is.

Things are going well otherwise, the divorce will be finalized in the next few weeks, which is exciting. It will be nice to have all of it behind us. Since Heather's divorce will be finalized around the same time we are planning a double ceremony and will be trying to get our court dates and times together.

I still have to say I am in awe every day of the amazing friends and family I have. I am not sure what I have ever done to deserve it, but the people that choose to be in my life have shown me over and over again how much they love me and why. I can't thank you all enough.

PS - I don't have to work Saturday or Sunday this week! Shenanigans o'plenty!