lucky to be right here

Do you ever wonder what your life would have been like if you had been born to different parents or in a different country or maybe just a different time-even just a year or two? Or if you had made one different decision? If you'd gone to a different party and met a different person who you'd later marry, how would things right now look different? Would you have the same beliefs? Would you have the same talents? Would you be good at something you've never even tried in your life? Who would you love? What would your kids be like? What would your outlook be?

Obviously most of that is purely circumstance, but personal choice also has just as big a role to play in your future now. I personally believe that for all the good and many many bad decisions we make, we learn and grow and become wiser about the world, ourselves and others hopefully. I think the more wrong decisions you make today, you have the unique opportunity to know more than the person who made "good" decisions tomorrow--if you pay attention. That's the real key- you have to allow yourself to make the mistakes, notice them, take responsibility for them (at least mentally) and figure out how you could have done things differently, with more compassion, love, respect and obviously with different results.

If you could live your life backward from the funeral service on, would that make a difference? Wouldn't you want to either live up to those expectations of yourself or prove (to them and you) that you were more? Would you love more and forgive faster and care less about who thinks what and more about the footprint you're leaving behind, not what cute shoes its in? Its not too late yet. Appreciate those in your life who add meaning and depth and beauty and spend more time with them. Tell them. Spend time with yourself and learn who you are for others. Be that for yourself too. Give more than you think you have. You won't be sorry.

thankful

Game night with family and great friends on Friday night. Saturday I got to have breakfast with mimi, see rylee's first ever soccer game (Too cute!!) before going off to work. The kids went with their cousin and his girlfriend (tommy and kessa) to see the toadies-dia de los toadies. Since I had a wedding I couldn't go. They had a great time, and came home tired, dirty, a little cranky, and sore from dancing so it sounds like a good time was had to me. I love that they were able to go and that they are such great kids I had no worries-mostly. :)

After our heart-attack-inducing breakfast (well, lunch maybe-at noon) at chef pointe cafe (if you haven't tried it, you're missing out, fo sho! Chicken and waffles and the most yummy open faced sandwich that sort of reminded me of a monte cristo but with a fab rich cream sauce all over it), spent the afternoon at a fundraiser at a hole-in-the-wall smoky bar with great music from several local singer/songwriters (and one or two not great, but interesting nonetheless), great conversation and frosty beverages. I love living in a place where at 2:00 on a Sunday this can readily be found--that and someone to enjoy it with.

The cherry on this weekend I am grateful for was dinner with those brumley kids (yep, I cooked), and one bff with a little true blood.

We get to start another week tomorrow. Smile even when you don't mean it. There are many many reasons to do so every day. Find one and appreciate it. Do it for yourself and your happiness, but do it especially for those who are struggling. You never know when your smile may be the only bright spot in someone's day.

Checking in

So I haven't been home every night, but every night I have been home, I have definitely cooked. It's not the daunting task it always has been. My sweet boss brought me four months of her menus and the link to where she gets the recipes. This, with several friends offering tidbits/suggestions/advice has made it easy and (gasp) actually fun. So far so good. I was even told the other night that I should have taken up this whole cooking thing earlier (to be fair, it was only said once by one person, and let's just say she hasn't been enjoying lots of home-cooked meals)! I'll take the compliment, though.

Now, since saying that publicly worked so well, I am going to say that I am going to get back to working out, also. Community, hold me to it, please!

Hunter started his senior year in high school. Since he and Ivey are going to Dia de los Toadies this weekend (I am super jealous that I can't go but am also excited they get to), he has had to work every day this week. I have hardly seen him, but he seemed to be happy (as of last night at least) with his classes. He is continuing his audio engineering and is taking some AP classes to get college credit. Ivey started her sophomore year and seems to be liking it fine, too. She is staying in softball this semester but wants to get out before the season starts because she's not a big fan of the JV coach. Feel free to nag away at her, family and friends (sorry Ivey!).

We had lots of kids here for FDOSB (First Day of School Breakfast) and I am thrilled to get to see all the bright shiny faces and to be a part of their big days. I wouldn't trade it for the world!

I have been off from the weekend gig for the past three weekends and have really enjoyed and appreciated the time off. I am getting back into the swing of things this weekend and apparently will be crazy busy for the next few months.

The divorce will be final September 16th-- and we are all still good. Josh and I are getting along fine. The kids are seeing Josh regularly and we are all doing well. I hate that it is so hard for everyone else, but the four of us are doing just fine. We are not mad, sad, angry, upset, stressed, or anything else negative. We are doing great. We do all appreciate the concern, though and if you want to, come get Hunter and Ivey and take them to lunch and talk to them one on one. They'd love that-they both are big fans of food.

I have been spending lots of time concerned about and sending love to family and several friends/coworkers/loved ones who are dealing with some significant health problems or super challenging life circumstances. Never miss an opportunity to laugh, hug, kiss, tell someone you love them, share a smile and just pass on warm, gentle kindness. You never know what someone is going through or dealing with. It may be temporary, or it may be permanent but the grace in which you handle the challenge says everything about you. I wish you all the comfort to know you are not alone.

Love to you all.
e

Can you teach an old dog new tricks?

I've heard that if you have a goal, it's best to state it right out loud so others can hold you accountable for following through on it. Drumroll, please...........

I am going to learn how to cook. OK, not exactly rocket science, but I have zero natural ability to match things together, or season stuff or do anything other than I am the best eater of food ever. I didn't bother learning for years because Brumley was so damn good at it and he actually enjoyed it. I guess I could have payed a little attention rather than drinking wine while he worked. (oops...hindsight's 20/20, huh??) I even tried to talk him into preparing all our meals for me. He could do half of them on Sunday night and the other half on Wednesday. He agreed to it, but never did it, so I am guessing it wasn't such an exciting plan to him--who could blame him?? :)

I know it's not exactly the most sought after information for most, but I will be happy to post the recipes I find, and I would certainly appreciate your sharing your's with me as I start on my new adventure!

Peace be with poor Hunter and Ivey and may their stomachs be made of steel.