regular ol' Friday night at my house now

I've had a bit of a bad couple of days. I guess it's to be expected, but I still don't (expect it) and that sort of pisses me off--to be caught off guard by feelings. It's been going so well for weeks. Bleh!

It's really strange to know beyond a shadow of a doubt that beautiful things are in store for me, and that there is an awful lot of growing, retooling and all that cool stuff happening to me that we don't "allow" to happen when we know who we are and where we're going. Today a coworker was talking about friends of hers who quit their jobs and sold their houses and cars and moved to Turkey. Josh and I had had serious conversations about doing that (although our plan wasn't Istanbul, it was Peru, or S.Africa or somewhere else entirely that I haven't even considered). I still want to, and I may. My goals, dreams, aspirations haven't changed, it's just that the vehicle and my partner are missing. I am still committed to making the world a better place, not only for me and my loved ones, but those who have no one to make it a better place for them. And you.

I have grown to love the sound of the quiet house. Alone is so not me. I kind of find it spiritual, though. It's healing to let things be (nice, huh, since I have no control anyway???) and yet down in my gut I get that things will be good, very good in the future. Just a part of me wants to know what, and how, when and of course WHO, if there is a who in this future. At this point that is irrelevant to me, but I am still curious.

My room looks amazing. It is still missing a few things (obviously), but I love the way it's coming together and am so loving it. Thank you so much Heather, Mom, Jack, Brooke, Matty, Ivey and Hunter. I owe you all big, and I totally know that. I have a big hole in my backyard...this summer come have a partyfest with it, nothing would make me happier!

I know a few of you at least are reading this, because people keep mentioning it to me. Leave me some love, I need the positive reinforcement. :) You never know, you could help make a single mom some money someday.