Monday, June 11, 2012

New beginnings

Just like sunrises and sunsets, there are times for everything. Times to come and time to go, time to begin and time to end. Time to know what you're holding and time to walk away. Oh - sorry.

Welp-We did it. Mitchell Jobe and I got married. Yep, I am now Erika Stanford Jobe. We had the greatest wedding (We would say so, though, wouldn't we?), exactly how we wanted it with exactly the right people there. (If you weren't there, please don't consider that in any way a diss, but we just choose to look at what was rather than what wasn't.) It was romantic, and fun, and sweet and funny and so 100% every bit me and Mitch each and us combined. I was never that girl who dreamt of a big wedding or fabulous designer dress, or never even wanted a spotlight and all else that goes along with that. That never interested me-for me. I love it for other people if that's their thing, and love getting to help them create reality out of their dream, but just had no desire of that for me. Although most everything was completely understated and easy-going (guests wore flip-flops, many wore shorts, and two even wore their "foot-loose, fancy free happy pants" as instructed to in the invitation --Rog, Deb, I love that you went through that much trouble and am so grateful for the words you spoke and the energy you brought. Simply beautiful.), it was also everything I'd hoped it would be. All the things we thought were important were exactly how they were planned. We had people we love and who love us there to celebrate and I got to finally use all the funky fabric I've been hoarding (yes, I'm outting myself) and it was almost 100% green. Nothing thrown away, with the exception of bottles, which were recycled. Heather married us to a Dr. Seuss woven medley she handcrafted herself with expert skill. Ivey, Kim, Hunter, Mimi, Brenda, Nana, Chris E., Butler, Feesh and Mr. Fabulous singer man who all delivered powerful prose. Wow. All poetic, beautiful, thoughtful, and much much appreciated, moving, inspiring and well, we're grateful.

Other than getting hitched and stuff, the biggest thing going on right now is after 10 great big heart bubble-full years, I have decided to leave the YWCA. I am going to go out and try things on my own. Since I have been on the side doing  day-of wedding coordinating for a while, and have done quite a few full-coordination/planning events for people I know and love, I am going to give that a go for a full-time gig. I know people (said in the ridiculous accent it was meant to be said in) so - if you know anyone getting married, pass on my name. I'd love to help! I need the experience and will give it my all. I am also going to help Mitch with Second Chance Resale. I'd love to help some small non-profits build their volunteer programs and well, just see where the world leads me.

Hunter moved out. Again. I am super happy for him, and I guess the fact that he has stayed here some has made it easier to manage. The slow go. (Thank you for that Hunter). Call him and check on him. He won't get mad if you do it. (and then call and let me know he's ok)  Ivey is gone, but only for a week thankfully, to camp. She starts her senior year next year, and oddly enough when she gets back from camp starts working - at the YWCA! She's going to be delivering sandwiches at lunch on a bicycle to the Sundance Square area. Snazzy, huh?

We leave next week for Fort Lauderdale for a little honeymoon. To say we are excited is kind of a gross understatement. We have spent the past eight weeks jumping and hopping every night planning for this spectacular event that turned out worth every second we spent preparing (in other words--not complaining!). We are now looking forward to nothing. On the beach. And maybe some margaritas. And some more nothing. On the beach.


Peace, love and the Jobe-ley's live happily ever after.

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Three Thousand, six hundred and fifty days.

I consider myself lucky. Crazy lucky. For lots of reasons. The family I was fortunate enough to be born into. The family I was fortunate enough to assemble. Some of those I am lucky enough to get to work with, either daily, or on an occasional basis. I have been fortunate enough to get up every morning and go to a job that I love. In a couple of short weeks I will celebrate my 10 year anniversary here. I love the YWCA because it’s been good to me – personally and professionally, but way more than that I love it because of how much life-changing good “it” is to others. I get to do my tiny part to make the women and families we serve have more. More hope. More self-sufficiency. More opportunity.

It is a beautiful thing to get to tag along to such great work being done in this building. To say that I somehow have a small part in it all is an invigorating thing. During my time here we have experienced so much change. I have had pretty much every job not in direct program service-delivery here (somewhat of an exaggeration, but I’ve had a lot during those 10 years!). Ten years! That's a mighty long time - and it's swished by like a minute. Through the years, I have had many coworkers who have come and gone and volunteers who have done the same. Many are still here and I am proud to call them my family. The programs have evolved to remain relevant and vital and the vision has a sharpened focus, but the mission has remained steadfast. The work we do, although it looks somewhat different, has remained focused on the needs of women and children, which has been a steady calm in an ocean of change for both my professional and personal life. My children were 6 and 8 when I started at the YWCA. They have literally grown up here. They both volunteer regularly (volunTOLD as they affectionately like to call it). I have celebrated lots of personal milestones, and some heartaches during that ten years. I have seen residents leave here, get married here, have their babies and come back, watched them grow, and transform and believe me – having a front row seat for that is life-changing. I have literally watched lives transform. I have watched children learn to tie their shoes, and get the framework for learning in elementary school. These same children who otherwise would have started kindergarten having to play catch-up, simply because they weren't economically blessed at birth. I have seen brides play out their childhood dreams here in our beautiful building. I have seen an ice cream venture come and go, a Resale Shop flourish, events be crazy wildly successful and others happen. We have had lots of successes and have learned through some failures. I have worked with women (and a few men!) on a regional and national basis doing the same work in their own communities we are doing here. I have watched the women who work here (and a few men!) grow and be empowered and improvise and retool. I am forever changed by being given this front-row seat and have loved the ride. Every day is not sunshine and roses, there are opportunities for growth that are sometimes painful, but it’s a beautiful place to be and I am grateful to have a part to play.

If you are one of the few I have not asked to be involved, but would like to – let me know! Obviously I love the YWCA and the amazing work we do here but everyone has their own loves and I am not silly enough to think everyone’s passions are the same. Be a part of something that makes your heart smile. Even if it’s just for a second. You never know the ripple effect that will have. For you and for those you may help and mostly for those that are watching you to know how they are supposed to do it.

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

if only

If only I could write a letter right now to my younger self...

You will make mistakes. You will be sorry for and ashamed of them. Learn from them. Don't be ashamed. The bigger ones will help you grow and learn the very most. And boy are you going to learn a bunch! Some of those things that could be considered today to be mistakes will end up being your greatest accomplishments.

Things happen exactly when and how they should. Don't try to force or coerce things along or keep them from happening. When one relationship ends, a door opens you never even had the opportunity to see before. Just live for right now. Beginnings are the same as endings and they are inevitable.

As long as you live there will always be someone prettier, uglier, smarter, not as smart, richer, poorer, with more and with less. Be you. Learn that earlier. You'll be happier. I promise.

Don't spend too much time worrying about what will or could happen. Don't waste too much time fretting over things that fell apart. Those will turn out to be some of your biggest blessings. Allow yourself to be happy, and if you could learn that younger, you'll just be that much happier. Just live, go with things as they come and when you can't sleep turn on HGTV. It helps every time.

Don't ever "play" in cat boxes, some people will NEVER forget!

Don't use hedge trimmers that are broken when you are sleepy and for goodness sake, if someone tells you they are not good enough for you - BELIEVE them!

p.s. being 36 is pretty dang fun. Not gonna lie.

Sunday, January 1, 2012

Bring it.

I prepare myself to say goodbye to a lifelong loyal friend on Wednesday. She's been a good friend, never letting me down, a little overzealous at times, but nothing that couldn't be handled. She always knew her place and mostly behaved nicely. The unfortunate thing is that her family is not as considerate, and so for that, she must go. She helped me bring two beautiful people into the world, and did so with amazing skill and dignity. She led me through doing that, actually, in a beautiful showing far greater than her years. Just because you have no need for a friend any longer doesn't make it less sad to see them go. Goodbye uterus, and take your mean friend with you, please and thank you. Please say a prayer, send out smoke signals or whatever it is that you do that the surgery goes well and recovery is easy and that I'm not too big of a baby to deal with it all.

An aside: If one more person tells me "you'll feel so much better after the surgery", I think my head might explode. I don't feel bad right now. My diseased cervix is icky with no symptoms really. I get it, it's hard to know what to say, but really -- it's ok to not say anything at all. Really. OK, I'll put my big girl panties back on and get off my cranky pants now.

During the past twelve months we had such big changes, Hunter graduating, moving out and going to North Texas (which by the way is definitely his niche, he loves it and it loves him), Ivey driving and working now and being all grown up, meeting Mitch and all that he brings to us, learning to live in the newest of new normals, and things are truly spectacular.  Hunter has turned into quite the cook, and I have so enjoyed getting to spend time with him in the kitchen during the past few weeks - it's one of those times I will cherish always actually, cooking with my grown son. Ivey has grown and is so responsible it's inspiring. She's figuring the world out and doing great things, for herself and others. For those who we lost in 2011, may you rest in peace and never ever be forgotten.  I can't say this year was without heartache for those losses, but the joy and love that also found its way (for me, my family and for all those unions that have happened in 2011 and for those who are yet to be in 2012) has been a game changer and for that I am forever grateful. Love is definitely in the air and is plentiful everywhere you look.  We sent out the old year and sang in the new at a low-key, quiet peaceful evening with just "us", and Lady Gaga, of course. Getting to spend the evening with my kids, mom and puzzle piece was perfect. It was lovely and there are lots of leftovers for today.  Here's to 2012 and all the great things that will be! I hope your New Year is full of pleasant surprises, larger-than-life goals that are a breeze to fulfill and prosperity, happiness, healthiness and lots of chocolate.

Be always at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let each new year find you a better man. ~Benjamin Franklin

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Thankful...

I have failed at blogging lately. Mostly because I am deliriously happy and have been busy eating, instead. I kid, sort of.  Okay, not really at all.  Besides being completely ridiculously in love with a man who is just the perfect puzzle piece for me and my life, the kids, the parentals, the friends, the family, life is good. Things are happening, but it's all good. I got to see a way overdue engagement come to fruition for my buffalo and her missing puzzle piece, got to marry (literally - I MARRIED them!) my cousin to her missing puzzle piece, I spent a week with my puzzle piece, relaxing and enjoying each other's company, seeing lots of Texas as we thrifted our way through it, watch as mom is trying out new things and making new energy for herself, watch as my children become two grown ups, watching as my puzzle piece steps out of the comfort zone and does what he loves and watching and getting to help along the way, and all the many many firsts that have been celebrated and will be celebrated, that will be the first of many more.

I love to be reminded of all the things in the world for which I should, no MUST be thankful for, but I wanted to take a second and share. 

I am thankful for:
  • my family. All of them, the ones I see, the ones I don't, the ones that are with us, the ones that were taken too soon, the ones I am close to and the ones that I simply share dna, the ones I chose for myself, the ones that I was given by chance, the ones that have always been family and the ones that only recently have become that way. I am proud to say I have a huge family and they are individually loud and wonderful,  and when any group of them get together, the chaos and roar and laughter and FUN that happens naturally is something I could never live without and never take for granted.
  • a job that lights me up and turns me on and makes me proud to get up in the morning and go
  • coworkers, volunteers and partners in that work that make every day a pleasure and an empowering place to be and the women and families whose lives are changing that I have the opportunity to meet who make it all worthwhile.
  • the people that will not share the holidays with their families this year because they are either deployed, will be at work, protecting, or helping us all in some other way on holiday.
  • the not so great things that happen when they have, because for them, I have the perspective that things are good now. Really good. I wouldn't change anything at all even if I could.
  • Thankful for those friends that I have that no matter how long we are out of touch, we can pick right up where we left off, catch each other up on the days, weeks, months or even years that we've missed and carry on easily.
  • Game nights (ahem!). Coming soon to a house near you.
  • Health--mine, yours, mental, physical, abnormal, it's all good. Exactly the way it is.
  • For relationships that are blooming, families being blended, beginnings that are happening, and lives that are being lived.
Thanks for being along for the ride. I am grateful this Thanksgiving. Love abounds. Thank you for your's.

Peace, love and happily ever after.

Sunday, September 4, 2011

lots of good things happenin'

Ok, for all my massive amounts of stalkers and fans (both of you, Mom and Ivey), here's a little update.

Hunter is kicking butt in college. He's been gone two weeks but has totally grabbed UNT by the horns (little mascot humor for those of you who are paying attention), and is digging in and really "doing" college. As he promised way back about four years ago, he has given me his Sunday mornings for breakfasts. We went to the Old West Cafe last weekend, and this weekend he came home (Gasp! I hope you can see the perma-momma-smile from here). The first night after we left him in the dorm, he went downstairs and met up with a whole group of people from reddit who were all meeting each other for the first time. As a result, he has a great group of about 20-25 friends that he hangs with often. It's a beautiful thing to watch their wings spread. We went to the Loophole on the Denton square today for lunch and it wasn't too bad. We've also eaten at the Pita Pit, which I kinda loved as a very obvious (better than) Subway knock-off.  In other news, though, he still is waiting for me to come clean his room. I know he can do it, and it if it takes him four years of college (and/or getting kicked out of the his uber-neat and organized roommate's room) to learn it, I have faith he will. Any Mean Green-ers out there, suggestions on yummy breakfast places would be most appreciated.

Ivey is working at Joe's on Hwy 26. Go see her and tip her well. Their food is fab, their waitresses cute, sweet and sassy and the owners are great people. She got to spend a little time with her big brother this weekend and has a little pizazz back because of it. She has missed her big brother a lot during the past two weeks.

I am ridiculously happy and for those of you who don't know, have a facebook-status-change-worthy dude in my life. Mitch is his name, and he makes me smile. He makes me laugh and he's just as nerdy as me, maybe even more. He's cute. He gets me. He likes to garage sale. He's fun. He's cute. He has two spectacular daughters, Sam and Kim, who are 12 and 16.  If you haven't had the pleasure of meeting him, I'd be willing to make a bet that you will easily fall for him too.

I am looking forward to lots of events this week - volunteering on Tuesday night, Women Who Care, Share table host party on Thursday, a wedding and volunteer appreciation gig for the Y-dub this weekend. Busy week with lots of good things happening.

Sam Haddock, I am giddy with excitement for you but am not going to mention it yet because that would be too presumptuous of me. Oh, wait, oopsy.  Carrie Ebbesen - I hope you and your Ez have a GREAT time in the Phish-world. I am thinking of you and your dad lots and sending lots of love to you all.  Heather  - I know you are always in Feesh-world and I love you (and him for you) more every single time I am with yall. Jaime Leigh, I know things are in full-swing and I am super happy for your big day and can't wait to be a part of it.

As always, I appreciate you all and am thankful for the part we both play in each other's lives, no matter how big or small a part that is.

Sunday, August 21, 2011

My son, the grownup

Alright, so it's time. Hunt's actually leaving today for college. I have a feeling things will never be the same. Not that that's bad, but Denton will change him somehow, and obviously thats s what's supposed to happen. It's progress. It's growth, it's wing-spreading and self-awareness and reality checks (on our part, as well as his), and fun, and umbilical cord cutting and exciting and beautiful and just right, not fun, but right still.

Hunt, you are leaving and taking a big part of me with you. I have watched you sleep many, many nights in the past 18 1/2 years and I will no longer have that opportunity but I am still with you. You are taking with you your grandpa's nightstand that he built with his own two hands, and your Mimi's Beatles quilt she made with her own two hands and your sister's old comforter and her very best friend since birth is going with you, so take good care of him. You are taking your dad's bicycle to move you around campus and a lock to help keep it safe from your Papa and DeeDee, along with lots of cool posters to remind you of home from them too. You're taking a microwave from Mitch and of course you're taking rugs and towels and all the other things you've collected either on your own or with the help of those who love you. You're taking the many many supportive "village members" who've not only watched you turn into the wonderful man you've become, but who've had a hand in it in one way or another. They each one feel personally vested in your future and your well-being and just so you know it - your happiness.  Know that each of those people, our families, our friends, and friends kids, our friends parents, ALL your grandparents, your aunts, your uncles, your nieces, your nephews, people who don't know you but know someone who does--- we're all rooting for you. We're all proud of you, and we all know you can do it. I feel safe in speaking for each and every one of "us" when I say, we are all here when you need anything, to talk, a ride home (from anywhere, anytime), to talk, to be there. We are counting on you to kick butt and take names. So go do your thing little man and I'll see ya next Sunday!

I love you,
Mom