Updates on the ills of the great Mitcherson

After a few concerned friends, family and loved ones have called to ask how Mitch is, I realized we haven't updated everyone on his tummy situation.

So--for the last couple of months, he has been on a IV infused treatment of Remicade. Since the very first infusion, it has been nothing short of a miracle. He has had little to no issues since day one and has returned to the Mitch we all know and love.

We are helping with a Safe Spook, put on by the Sanger Area Chamber of Commerce on Halloween. If you are anywhere close to Sanger, bring your kids 4-6 pm on the 31st. There will be a costume contest for the kiddos with awesome prizes!

Since we closed the store in June, we've definitely recognized more time to see friends! Call us if we haven't had the opportunity to get together, we'd love to see you/your's!

Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art... It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that give value to survival.

C. S. Lewis

Wow! Again??

Quick update - Mitch and I closed the store at the end of June. I can't say it was a decision we made easily, but it was such a good decision. It was sucking wind and closing it helped open the door and space for us to focus on things more productive. Turns out - we were right. We're seriously growing with our financial services work and nothing makes us happier than being able to help people plan for their futures! Busier than ever, a VERY different kind of busy, but super busy still. Not a stay-up-til-2am-schlepping-tables-and-antiques-around-back-breaking sort of busy, but like having to remember to eat because you've gone from one appointment to the next and getting home at night exhausted feeling great about what you've done in the world good kind of busy.  We have SO many crazy success stories and I feel like we're in the spot we're supposed to be!  Annnnd - we also now have more time to actually SEE some people now that we're not tied to our store 24/7. Hooray!

Last week we sold the house in North Richland Hills. We are closed and wipe the dust off our hands, D-O-N-E. Fini! Phew!

My sweet cousin, Carley, got married and once again, I was able to be a small part of her day. It was such an honor and pleasure to marry her to the man who absolutely deserves to walk with her through life. I can't describe the honor it is getting to officiate for people I love. Congrats Jacob and Carley and sweet Annalee. You are all amazing.

I ran into a woman in the restroom nursing her beautiful baby girl today. She was very apologetic (what? to me???) for being in my way, and it reminded me of the two babies I had the delight of raising. Not babies anymore definitely. But, I can honestly say, even though I was young and dumb, I truly enjoyed every single second and stage in their lives. Still do! Such a beautiful reminder.  

Tread lightly, don't sweat the small stuff, assume the best in others, be uplifting and you just might be the sunshine someone needed in their day.  You have your happiness to live for.

Happy Spring!

Today is the first day of Spring! We made it!!!  I don't know about you, but this winter was for real for me. Besides being a small business owner and having to close the store for a few extra days, it also brought more than it's share of blahs in other ways. Welcome to Spring.  Today's also give your friends a smile day (Well, I made that up.) I know this song may be over-played, and all the degrading things you can say about it, but I. Don't. Give. Two. Craps. It makes me happy. Simply hit stop if it doesn't do the same for you and shush your negativity.







A few truths today:



If you are somewhere you shouldn't be - don't be. Money is just money - a job that doesn't light your candle isn't all that. Get a new one. It will work out.



Although I am not fundamentally a believer in divorce (funny for a divorced chick to say, huh?), the place where I am today makes everything else worth it. Everyone deserves this kind of Happy. It's out there for everyone. I don't just believe it. I know it.  Life is finite. Don't waste one single second on someone who isn't giving you their everything. If they left you (emotionally or physically), let them. Mourn and move on. Not to sound contradicting, but the flipside of that is the ONLY way to have a really truly extraordinary partner is.....drum roll please....to be one.



If you're unhealthy - fix it as best you can. There may be a time when running and cutting out cookies won't make a difference and you'll be sorry you didn't take those simple steps when you had the chance.



Surround yourself by people who make you comfortable. Not always agreeable - most of my favorite people call me out on my BS so hard it will make your head spin - but they are also among the few that I trust because they care enough to go to bat, even with the ugly.



People feel better when they've been useful. If you can't find work, volunteer, give back, do something outside yourself. Trust me, someone will take notice. The universe will recognize.



Tomorrow is never guaranteed. Take time out for walks, talks, dates, lunches, coffee (or tea) breaks, make time for that someone special. Do something silly. Do something naughty. Do something for no other reason than because it will make mad fun pictures. Take a friend. If not for you, for them. It's good for your soul.

empty nesters

It's official. Mitch and I are officially empty-nesters.

I no longer know when my kiddos are home safe in bed. I do, however, assume that when I go to bed at 9:00 pm, they are tucked safely in their own beds at their own homes. Reasonable, no?

I no longer get to share breakfasts every day or occasional late-night snacks accidentally. I do however, get to be intentional about when/how/if I see them regularly and make it count. I don't know when they have gotten up on time to be at school or at work.

I no longer have a multitude of clothing choices made possible by Ivey's shopping habit. I no  longer have my own personal in-house fashion advisor. I no longer have the option of throwing in the towel and having my in-house hair stylist finish the job on a bad hair day.

I'm glad that our new empty-nest status has come to be in a fancy new place, otherwise old sads from Hunter moving out would be there on top of new ones from his baby sister following in his footsteps.

Our dishwasher remains mostly empty, only needing to be run every few days. Our leftovers NEVER get eaten. I know when I put something somewhere if it isn't exactly who to blame. He can't even deny it, either.

My heart is full and my heart is torn around the edges, too, because although I want them to live with us forever, I get that's not a good idea. Not for anyone. I hate that they have flanked themselves all across Texas, but am grateful it's just Texas.

If you are reading this, call your Mom. She misses you. If you aren't blessed to have your mom still on the planet, feel free to call me. I'll mother you when you need it (or don't).   I know it's selfish, and I'll stop being so real soon. Or at least soonish.

Charlie, baby b, Little e, Ivey and our little one who is not.

This last week (well, actually year) has been a whirlwind. Mitch and I had the honor and pleasure of chaperoning the after-prom-all-night-party and being there with our kiddo. Then last week, all the getting-ready-for-graduation hysteria, and alas, Sunday's big hooplah. High School Graduation - Birdville Hawks, Class of 2013.

Ick. She did it. I drove her to the Convention Center and she got out to go inside and as she walked away from me with her cap and gown over her arm, with her little curls bouncing and her sweet dress blowing in the wind, I started crying because I instantly was reminded of when she was running off into her kindergarten class. I got it all together and only sniffled a few times at graduation, more proud than sad. We celebrated big for her and I think she felt loved in the way she deserves to feel loved. It's fun to see her parents, step-parents, grand-parents, on and on all the people I know love her surround her and be with her on these special milestones. As a mom, anyone who loves my kids is somewhat ok in my book. But what's really fun is getting to meet her people - the people she's adding to her own village and those who recognize who she is. As her mom, it makes me giddy and puffy-chested.

Then, in very whirlwind fashion, she was scheduled to take her Cosmetology State Board practical exam 36 hours later. In Austin. Now, I'm not whining about having to go visit Austin. At all. We took a little road trip together and it was not only a great memory, it was fun and I wouldn't have missed it for the world.

Sidenote - on the way to Austin, we stopped in West. Our hearts broke as we drove through the cute little town and saw the devastation left by the explosion. We knew, but seeing a woman in front of her house with no doors, windows, walls, etc., outside tending to her beautifully manicured flower garden was inspiring. She said with that act that she had no intention of being gone long. She has big plans to be right there and didn't want her roses, her petunias, her daffodils or her hydrangea to suffer because she missed a season of caring for them. Say a prayer for this town.

Now - Ivey and I stayed in a darling hotel, ventured out to Congress, 6th Street, and almost witnessed the bats, but settled for other adventures instead. I loved being by her side while she began her state board exam and sat outside on pins and needles waiting the three hours for her to come out after we models were done and had to leave. It was heart-wrenching watching her be so nervous, but I was equally as excited when she came out of the building grinning from ear to ear. So - we have a new hair stylist in the family, y'all!

Congrats to you and all that you are and all that you will be, Ivey Michelle. I'm proud to know you and prouder to be your mama and friend.

Today

Thank you to all who have come out, sent friends, liked us on Facebook, sent love, done countless favors for and generally supported us with our little shop's opening.  The love and support has been overwhelming. Hopefully we can keep the momentum going and have it be super successful. It is crazy fun being here every day and people seem to be responding. We already have regular customers and friendships are growing every day. That said, we spend countless hours doing it. The thing is, we love it. It's our hobby and passion and we're together and yes, I realize that that sounds a little like a junky rationalizing the overworking, but whatev. It feels good and it's only temporary while things get off the ground. I think.

Last night, I was invited to try a week of turning off the tv, phone, computer, ipad, basically any and every electronic device (besides work of course) and spend that time "being" with family and friends. After considering overnight, I have decided to take the challenge, not that that by itself would be much, if any, challenge. The reason - almost 100% of my electronic energy is spent doing "work" things. So I will easily be able to eliminate all for-funzies time. But I am going to up the ante. I know that at least one person will be super glad, one person might be scared and no one else will probably care. Ivey, for one week, we will not work past 7:00 and will be home for dinner. Every night. Mitch, yes, that "we" includes you, sir. What I would also like is for friends and family to jump in and let's make dinner dates that week so we can be sure to catch up like we all keep meaning to.

This morning on Facebook (ok, this was purely personal and for no work at all), a friend posted a link to a young woman (under 30) who died this morning from breast cancer after a long battle. Her blog is here, which I had never read before -
http://mybiggirlpants.blogspot.com/. After scrolling through her eloquent words, I feel even more compelled to do this. Please let me know what night the week of April 28th you would like in on dinner. If that doesn't work, what does? With yet another death two weeks ago of an uncle of mine, another reminder of our precious time, relationships and nurturing those. None of us have a guarantee for tomorrow, and let's make today count. Together.

Peace, love and unlimited hugs!
Erika

Whirlwinds!

One of my worst pet peeves, that REALLY gets under my skin, is when people make marriage jokes. Especially at weddings. It makes me want to punch them in the face. Not joking. To say anything like "you just sold your soul to the devil", or "life's over now!", or anything like that to me is comparable to a fat joke. Not funny. Ever. It is usually men making said jokes. I'm not being sexist. In my experience, it has been. How does this make their spouse feel? Yikes! Besides being completely inappropriate (at a wedding or anytime), it is obviously a symptom of how taken for granted the idea of marriage is. For some people. Not all. Today, my thoughts are with lawmakers that they put an end to this idiotic argument that is decades past needing to be settled. Please let them do the right thing. #offsoapbox



Johnny and his wife, Janice, at Nanny's funeral 4 yrs. ago
 

My uncle, Johnny Lee Rickards, passed away last week. His viewing is tonight and his services are tomorrow. Please say a prayer, send love, and good thoughts to his daughter, Wendy and his wife Janice, stepdaughter Chanum, his siblings Daddy and Cindy and all the rest of our family and other people in the world that knew, loved and care about him. Yet another reminder to not take a single breath for granted, tell those you love that you love them and appreciate what you have while you have it.



Friday we will be celebrating our Grand Opening and are silly busy trying to ready the store (and ourselves) for this event. If you are available, please come!It will be fun - we will have a photobooth and some yummy treats. Our friend, Javier (What's CookN Chef) is bringing his fancy new food truck - not only is it crazy cool and a MUST SEE, he will be serving his latin-infused yummy goodness for our guests this weekend. Come out! We will try hard to make sure you aren't sorry! :)

It is exciting. And fun. And not going to lie - Owning your own business is glamorous, right up until you spend your third or fourth or fifth week in a row out until after midnight schlepping and bad delivery pizza for dinner. Even still, wouldn't change it for the world! Peace and love to you all.

Fancy dresses, funky wares and choosing happy

Phew! The holidays are over, and with it the slow wedding season, causing me to have a TON of time to myself with my feet up. HA! Really that couldn't be further from the truth, except for the lag in weddings for the past few months.

We have moved from our little warehouse hobby and opened a big ol' store where we peddle all things groovy. Antiques, office furniture, awesome glass figurines, funky costumes, crystal, lamps, funky stuff, ya know? So we're there, the first week's business was good, simply because we have the coolest friends who support us in a way we never expected. We buy estate sales regularly, so shop early, shop often - you'll see new stuff every time you come. We will give you our word. :) We're there Tuesday through Saturday 9a-6p (and will come early or stay late if we know you're coming!) Find us on Facebook and on our website! I would be remiss if I didn't sincerely thank a couple of people. Indi Jones Butler - for giving your time, fancy style, flair, sass and making things cay-ute! Mimi - who was layed off her job of over 40 years and has spent HOURS working and making things happen along with us. From painting to scrubbing and painting and moving and setting up and bringing lunch and keeping us laughing, painting and bringing dinner to sitting when I have to run out, to everything else she does every single day. Thank you, Mom!

 

All the shop openings were right in the slow time for weddings, and we finished just in time for them to ramp up again. Perfection in planning?! Officiating a lot in the coming months, doing quite a bit of planning and coordinating still at the Belltower Chapel & Garden. If you have friends who need help - of any kind - with a wedding, tell them to give me a call!

We are prom dress shopping for Ivey's senior prom. A fun experience to say the least. No but really. I am trying hard to ignore the fact that she turns 18 in a month. Yes, in four weeks she turns 18 and 8 weeks after that she will be graduated from high school. I remember being her age and she is so much wiser, so much stronger and has the world by the horns. As much as I want to not be sad about this wonderful milestone for her, allowing her to spread her beautifully mature wings, I can't help but selfishly want to hang on her ankles and beg her not to go. I know it's wrong. Because just as I watched her big brother blossom into the magnificently wonderful life he's growing into, I know she'll grow into her wings. Don't hear me wrong. I'm not apologizing for my selfishness and I won't hesitate to drive her to school, share a lunch with her during the schoolday or shop for glitzy fancy party dresses any chance I get. She's beautiful on the outside, but so much prettier on the inside. OK, I'm done now before I leak.

 

To each of you - a little late, but best wishes for a great 2013 and make it count. Love those who need loving, forgive who need forgiving and make the choice every day to be the best you there is.

 

 

 

Down in the Dumps.

Several people who are super important to me struggle daily with depression. Not just I-feel-sad-so-will-listen-to-some-sad-music-depression (although I'd bet there's far more of those, too), but really serious can't kick it depression.

As a Mom, I would love to say I have some stellar advice for it, but I have failed miserably here. Someone who is depressed is just that - depressed. They can't always bring themselves to the place they know they need to get to, to make the changes needed so that tomorrow will be different than today. For my inability to recognize this simple fact, I am sorry. My regrets are many surrounding this, and for that if one person gets anything out of this, I feel better. I can't fix those things, but I have learned a few others about it, so I will share the little that I do know.

So - if you struggle with that, this is obviously my attempt to give (unrequested) advice on what to do each and every day (aside from, of course, get professional help if you need it, because whether you want to admit it or not, you could almost 100% of the time benefit from that) to make sure that your tomorrow is as bright or brighter than today.

It sounds cheesy, but think happy thoughts. I know, every day isn't sunshine and lollipops (yes, I edited for g rating), but if something is eating away at you, fix it. If it's something you can't personally fix, figure out how you can manage and deal with it. If you can't, change the situation. Fix what you do have control over-- you reaction and feelings about it. Most of things that happened in the past can be "fixed" by acknowledging them. Either with the person that they happened with/for/because of or even on your own, but either way, free yourself from past.

Get out and do something for someone else. Someone who can't repay you, preferably. If you want to, make it simple - easy, anonymous. Pay for someone's soda at the store, leave a happy face note with a sweet note of encouragement on a windshield, volunteer (there are LOTS of places that need you that would be fun for you to volunteer at-call me. I can help if you need it!) I promise the game of it will improve your spirits.

Take care of something. Whether that's a cat, dog, plant, fish, sibling, yard, flowers, whatever. Take care of something and be the best care taker you can be. Spoil it rotten.

Talk to someone. Not just someone, but someone who is worthy of talking to. Someone who can not only listen, but hear without judgement. Someone who cares. But keeping it to yourself is quite possibly the worst thing you can do. Issues not dealt with eat at you and will surface on their own in another way. I know that sounds mumbo jumbo but I believe it wholeheartedly.

Get out a piece of paper and write down 10 things you have that you are grateful for. Don't forget the painfully obvious. Health is a great thing not to be taken for granted--just ask someone who has just been diagnosed with stage four cancer. A warm/cool place to sleep at night. Again, don't take anything for granted. Do this every day. Think of new things. Even the silly - your funny socks, or hairbows or gel finger nail polish or starbucks.

Talk to someone older than you. Think about yourself on the continuum of life and realize that although it is hard to see sometimes, our time on this planet is limited and whatever it is that is bothering you might not be worth the energy you're wasting. If it is, then work out a potential solution so that it's not a worry, but a triumph. If it's not, perspective sometimes is the best thing for it.

Celebrate yourself. When you do something (even something simple like getting out of bed when you don't feel like it), pat yourself on the back. Tell someone you did it so they can pat you on the back, too. People who love you are thrilled to have the opportunity to give you a high five and cheer you on. I promise. Let them.

I could go on and on, but the last thing I will leave you with is a bit harder sometimes. Fake it. If you are "in a bad mood", fake it. Not for everyone else's sake, but for your's. Put a smile on your face and I promise you if you hold it, you will actually feel differently. Fake it til you make it is part of lots of great songs, but it's true. Pretend to be outgoing/happy/proud/insert your own label here and not only will others see you that way, but you will, too.

From the bottom of my heart, know that you are cared about. I am always here. Anytime, day or night to listen, cheerlead if you need it, share a glass of wine, ice cream, laugh, or whatever else it is that your soul needs to find it's happy. I love you. Whether you think I am talking about you or not - I am.

Today

Today started the second week of Mitch's new job at the pain management clinic. He seems to like it a lot. He couldn't possibly hate the 40 hours a week, being home every day by 4:30 in the afternoon, a fraction of the patients he saw at the hospital, weekends and holidays off and that it is located in a really cool building near downtown Fort Worth.

I had an interview last Friday for a p/t gig at a non-profit doing community engagement. Will find out about it later this week or next. I felt good about the interview, but frankly don't have strong emotions one way or the other, since things are going so well as they are. It would be fun getting back into that as a staff person, though. It's a great non-profit and I'd love to be a part of their team.

I start wedding planning school tonight at UTA. Super stoked! Classes are on Monday nights.

Having Mitch home on the weekend allowed us to hit the mother of all estate sales on Saturday morning bright and early. They had vintage clothes, galore, lots of cool house stuff, lots of stuff to sale on ebay and craigslist (and lots not to, too). The f350 four door big o' truck was loaded to the gills and we realized that perhaps a 12-step program might be in store. But we aren't quitters.

I had the opportunity to witness a beautiful balloon release for a woman who passed away before it was time. I don't know her family, but I got to take photos of this beautiful expression of her life and am grateful I did. It was nothing short of gorgeous in the downtown, late-afternoon sun. Yet another reminder to love with all your heart, forgive quickly, laugh often and be the most you you can be.

righting a wrong

So tonight after dinner, I was sitting in the front yard reflecting on what a great day, and week and month and life I had, drinking a glass of wine, watching Mitch mow the front yard. Hunter and Mimi came over for dinner and ate with Mitch and Ivey and me. A lady walked by, that we see often walking her dog, and said, "Now that's how it's done. You've got him trained!".  I smiled and told her to have a good night, but didn't set her straight. I feel guilty about that, so I will now right my wrong.

I didn't tell her I didn't train him. He is a good man. That is for certain, but it has nothing to do with me. I didn't tell her he was a good man long before I met him. I didn't tell her about his integrity, loyalty, honesty. I didn't tell her that he worked twelve hours at the hospital before he came home. He ate some dinner with us and quickly got outside before it got dark to get the yard mowed. I didn't tell her that he works hard because he wants things for us. I didn't tell her he works hard to so we can work for ourselves. Although he doesn't mention it or have to do it, he works hard so he can give more than his required child support every month so that his girls can have extra things.

Now - for the record, I must now also give big public props to Josh Brumley, because he pays extra child support, too. He is a good dad, and Brumley - you can be sure that your kids know it. I make sure they do.

p.s. "Off" brand pocket shield things work really well. I didn't get bit - at all.

Things

If someone would have told me I wouldn't be working at the YWCA now, and would be out on my own, dabbling in a little bit of everything, and not looking back, I would have told you you were crazy.

2nd Chance Resale is going great, busy as ever and growing like crazy. We have made some brilliant strides recently, allowing us to make some great investments back into our business. AND - we are making plans -- BIG plans. More on that later!

Events by e - I have never been busier. From working events at Belltower, owned and operated by ACH (a wonderful organization that works to strengthen families and support children--check them out -- www.achservices.org), officiating and planning, my candle is burning at both ends, but has not seemed like work for one second.

I've been fortunate enough to stay involved in the non-profit community, and are busy helping who we want to when we can. It's a great transition and one I'm proud to say is going well!

Thanks for all your love, support and well-wishes. Let me know if there's funky furniture or other items you're looking for, if you're having a mammoth event and need help, or even a small private event you'd like a little support to help pull off, if you need a notary or anything else you think I can help with!

New beginnings

Just like sunrises and sunsets, there are times for everything. Times to come and time to go, time to begin and time to end. Time to know what you're holding and time to walk away. Oh - sorry.

Welp-We did it. Mitchell Jobe and I got married. Yep, I am now Erika Stanford Jobe. We had the greatest wedding (We would say so, though, wouldn't we?), exactly how we wanted it with exactly the right people there. (If you weren't there, please don't consider that in any way a diss, but we just choose to look at what was rather than what wasn't.) It was romantic, and fun, and sweet and funny and so 100% every bit me and Mitch each and us combined. I was never that girl who dreamt of a big wedding or fabulous designer dress, or never even wanted a spotlight and all else that goes along with that. That never interested me-for me. I love it for other people if that's their thing, and love getting to help them create reality out of their dream, but just had no desire of that for me. Although most everything was completely understated and easy-going (guests wore flip-flops, many wore shorts, and two even wore their "foot-loose, fancy free happy pants" as instructed to in the invitation --Rog, Deb, I love that you went through that much trouble and am so grateful for the words you spoke and the energy you brought. Simply beautiful.), it was also everything I'd hoped it would be. All the things we thought were important were exactly how they were planned. We had people we love and who love us there to celebrate and I got to finally use all the funky fabric I've been hoarding (yes, I'm outting myself) and it was almost 100% green. Nothing thrown away, with the exception of bottles, which were recycled. Heather married us to a Dr. Seuss woven medley she handcrafted herself with expert skill. Ivey, Kim, Hunter, Mimi, Brenda, Nana, Chris E., Butler, Feesh and Mr. Fabulous singer man who all delivered powerful prose. Wow. All poetic, beautiful, thoughtful, and much much appreciated, moving, inspiring and well, we're grateful.

Other than getting hitched and stuff, the biggest thing going on right now is after 10 great big heart bubble-full years, I have decided to leave the YWCA. I am going to go out and try things on my own. Since I have been on the side doing  day-of wedding coordinating for a while, and have done quite a few full-coordination/planning events for people I know and love, I am going to give that a go for a full-time gig. I know people (said in the ridiculous accent it was meant to be said in) so - if you know anyone getting married, pass on my name. I'd love to help! I need the experience and will give it my all. I am also going to help Mitch with Second Chance Resale. I'd love to help some small non-profits build their volunteer programs and well, just see where the world leads me.

Hunter moved out. Again. I am super happy for him, and I guess the fact that he has stayed here some has made it easier to manage. The slow go. (Thank you for that Hunter). Call him and check on him. He won't get mad if you do it. (and then call and let me know he's ok)  Ivey is gone, but only for a week thankfully, to camp. She starts her senior year next year, and oddly enough when she gets back from camp starts working - at the YWCA! She's going to be delivering sandwiches at lunch on a bicycle to the Sundance Square area. Snazzy, huh?

We leave next week for Fort Lauderdale for a little honeymoon. To say we are excited is kind of a gross understatement. We have spent the past eight weeks jumping and hopping every night planning for this spectacular event that turned out worth every second we spent preparing (in other words--not complaining!). We are now looking forward to nothing. On the beach. And maybe some margaritas. And some more nothing. On the beach.


Peace, love and the Jobe-ley's live happily ever after.

Three Thousand, six hundred and fifty days.

I consider myself lucky. Crazy lucky. For lots of reasons. The family I was fortunate enough to be born into. The family I was fortunate enough to assemble. Some of those I am lucky enough to get to work with, either daily, or on an occasional basis. I have been fortunate enough to get up every morning and go to a job that I love. In a couple of short weeks I will celebrate my 10 year anniversary here. I love the YWCA because it’s been good to me – personally and professionally, but way more than that I love it because of how much life-changing good “it” is to others. I get to do my tiny part to make the women and families we serve have more. More hope. More self-sufficiency. More opportunity.

It is a beautiful thing to get to tag along to such great work being done in this building. To say that I somehow have a small part in it all is an invigorating thing. During my time here we have experienced so much change. I have had pretty much every job not in direct program service-delivery here (somewhat of an exaggeration, but I’ve had a lot during those 10 years!). Ten years! That's a mighty long time - and it's swished by like a minute. Through the years, I have had many coworkers who have come and gone and volunteers who have done the same. Many are still here and I am proud to call them my family. The programs have evolved to remain relevant and vital and the vision has a sharpened focus, but the mission has remained steadfast. The work we do, although it looks somewhat different, has remained focused on the needs of women and children, which has been a steady calm in an ocean of change for both my professional and personal life. My children were 6 and 8 when I started at the YWCA. They have literally grown up here. They both volunteer regularly (volunTOLD as they affectionately like to call it). I have celebrated lots of personal milestones, and some heartaches during that ten years. I have seen residents leave here, get married here, have their babies and come back, watched them grow, and transform and believe me – having a front row seat for that is life-changing. I have literally watched lives transform. I have watched children learn to tie their shoes, and get the framework for learning in elementary school. These same children who otherwise would have started kindergarten having to play catch-up, simply because they weren't economically blessed at birth. I have seen brides play out their childhood dreams here in our beautiful building. I have seen an ice cream venture come and go, a Resale Shop flourish, events be crazy wildly successful and others happen. We have had lots of successes and have learned through some failures. I have worked with women (and a few men!) on a regional and national basis doing the same work in their own communities we are doing here. I have watched the women who work here (and a few men!) grow and be empowered and improvise and retool. I am forever changed by being given this front-row seat and have loved the ride. Every day is not sunshine and roses, there are opportunities for growth that are sometimes painful, but it’s a beautiful place to be and I am grateful to have a part to play.

If you are one of the few I have not asked to be involved, but would like to – let me know! Obviously I love the YWCA and the amazing work we do here but everyone has their own loves and I am not silly enough to think everyone’s passions are the same. Be a part of something that makes your heart smile. Even if it’s just for a second. You never know the ripple effect that will have. For you and for those you may help and mostly for those that are watching you to know how they are supposed to do it.

if only

If only I could write a letter right now to my younger self...

You will make mistakes. You will be sorry for and ashamed of them. Learn from them. Don't be ashamed. The bigger ones will help you grow and learn the very most. And boy are you going to learn a bunch! Some of those things that could be considered today to be mistakes will end up being your greatest accomplishments.

Things happen exactly when and how they should. Don't try to force or coerce things along or keep them from happening. When one relationship ends, a door opens you never even had the opportunity to see before. Just live for right now. Beginnings are the same as endings and they are inevitable.

As long as you live there will always be someone prettier, uglier, smarter, not as smart, richer, poorer, with more and with less. Be you. Learn that earlier. You'll be happier. I promise.

Don't spend too much time worrying about what will or could happen. Don't waste too much time fretting over things that fell apart. Those will turn out to be some of your biggest blessings. Allow yourself to be happy, and if you could learn that younger, you'll just be that much happier. Just live, go with things as they come and when you can't sleep turn on HGTV. It helps every time.

Don't ever "play" in cat boxes, some people will NEVER forget!

Don't use hedge trimmers that are broken when you are sleepy and for goodness sake, if someone tells you they are not good enough for you - BELIEVE them!

p.s. being 36 is pretty dang fun. Not gonna lie.

Bring it.

I prepare myself to say goodbye to a lifelong loyal friend on Wednesday. She's been a good friend, never letting me down, a little overzealous at times, but nothing that couldn't be handled. She always knew her place and mostly behaved nicely. The unfortunate thing is that her family is not as considerate, and so for that, she must go. She helped me bring two beautiful people into the world, and did so with amazing skill and dignity. She led me through doing that, actually, in a beautiful showing far greater than her years. Just because you have no need for a friend any longer doesn't make it less sad to see them go. Goodbye uterus, and take your mean friend with you, please and thank you. Please say a prayer, send out smoke signals or whatever it is that you do that the surgery goes well and recovery is easy and that I'm not too big of a baby to deal with it all.

An aside: If one more person tells me "you'll feel so much better after the surgery", I think my head might explode. I don't feel bad right now. My diseased cervix is icky with no symptoms really. I get it, it's hard to know what to say, but really -- it's ok to not say anything at all. Really. OK, I'll put my big girl panties back on and get off my cranky pants now.

During the past twelve months we had such big changes, Hunter graduating, moving out and going to North Texas (which by the way is definitely his niche, he loves it and it loves him), Ivey driving and working now and being all grown up, meeting Mitch and all that he brings to us, learning to live in the newest of new normals, and things are truly spectacular.  Hunter has turned into quite the cook, and I have so enjoyed getting to spend time with him in the kitchen during the past few weeks - it's one of those times I will cherish always actually, cooking with my grown son. Ivey has grown and is so responsible it's inspiring. She's figuring the world out and doing great things, for herself and others. For those who we lost in 2011, may you rest in peace and never ever be forgotten.  I can't say this year was without heartache for those losses, but the joy and love that also found its way (for me, my family and for all those unions that have happened in 2011 and for those who are yet to be in 2012) has been a game changer and for that I am forever grateful. Love is definitely in the air and is plentiful everywhere you look.  We sent out the old year and sang in the new at a low-key, quiet peaceful evening with just "us", and Lady Gaga, of course. Getting to spend the evening with my kids, mom and puzzle piece was perfect. It was lovely and there are lots of leftovers for today.  Here's to 2012 and all the great things that will be! I hope your New Year is full of pleasant surprises, larger-than-life goals that are a breeze to fulfill and prosperity, happiness, healthiness and lots of chocolate.

Be always at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let each new year find you a better man. ~Benjamin Franklin

Thankful...

I have failed at blogging lately. Mostly because I am deliriously happy and have been busy eating, instead. I kid, sort of.  Okay, not really at all.  Besides being completely ridiculously in love with a man who is just the perfect puzzle piece for me and my life, the kids, the parentals, the friends, the family, life is good. Things are happening, but it's all good. I got to see a way overdue engagement come to fruition for my buffalo and her missing puzzle piece, got to marry (literally - I MARRIED them!) my cousin to her missing puzzle piece, I spent a week with my puzzle piece, relaxing and enjoying each other's company, seeing lots of Texas as we thrifted our way through it, watch as mom is trying out new things and making new energy for herself, watch as my children become two grown ups, watching as my puzzle piece steps out of the comfort zone and does what he loves and watching and getting to help along the way, and all the many many firsts that have been celebrated and will be celebrated, that will be the first of many more.

I love to be reminded of all the things in the world for which I should, no MUST be thankful for, but I wanted to take a second and share. 

I am thankful for:

• my family. All of them, the ones I see, the ones I don't, the ones that are with us, the ones that were taken too soon, the ones I am close to and the ones that I simply share dna, the ones I chose for myself, the ones that I was given by chance, the ones that have always been family and the ones that only recently have become that way. I am proud to say I have a huge family and they are individually loud and wonderful,  and when any group of them get together, the chaos and roar and laughter and FUN that happens naturally is something I could never live without and never take for granted.
• a job that lights me up and turns me on and makes me proud to get up in the morning and go
• coworkers, volunteers and partners in that work that make every day a pleasure and an empowering place to be and the women and families whose lives are changing that I have the opportunity to meet who make it all worthwhile.
• the people that will not share the holidays with their families this year because they are either deployed, will be at work, protecting, or helping us all in some other way on holiday.
• the not so great things that happen when they have, because for them, I have the perspective that things are good now. Really good. I wouldn't change anything at all even if I could.
• Thankful for those friends that I have that no matter how long we are out of touch, we can pick right up where we left off, catch each other up on the days, weeks, months or even years that we've missed and carry on easily.
• Game nights (ahem!). Coming soon to a house near you.
• Health--mine, yours, mental, physical, abnormal, it's all good. Exactly the way it is.
• For relationships that are blooming, families being blended, beginnings that are happening, and lives that are being lived.

Thanks for being along for the ride. I am grateful this Thanksgiving. Love abounds. Thank you for your's.

Peace, love and happily ever after.

lots of good things happenin'

Ok, for all my massive amounts of stalkers and fans (both of you, Mom and Ivey), here's a little update.

Hunter is kicking butt in college. He's been gone two weeks but has totally grabbed UNT by the horns (little mascot humor for those of you who are paying attention), and is digging in and really "doing" college. As he promised way back about four years ago, he has given me his Sunday mornings for breakfasts. We went to the Old West Cafe last weekend, and this weekend he came home (Gasp! I hope you can see the perma-momma-smile from here). The first night after we left him in the dorm, he went downstairs and met up with a whole group of people from reddit who were all meeting each other for the first time. As a result, he has a great group of about 20-25 friends that he hangs with often. It's a beautiful thing to watch their wings spread. We went to the Loophole on the Denton square today for lunch and it wasn't too bad. We've also eaten at the Pita Pit, which I kinda loved as a very obvious (better than) Subway knock-off.  In other news, though, he still is waiting for me to come clean his room. I know he can do it, and it if it takes him four years of college (and/or getting kicked out of the his uber-neat and organized roommate's room) to learn it, I have faith he will. Any Mean Green-ers out there, suggestions on yummy breakfast places would be most appreciated.

Ivey is working at Joe's on Hwy 26. Go see her and tip her well. Their food is fab, their waitresses cute, sweet and sassy and the owners are great people. She got to spend a little time with her big brother this weekend and has a little pizazz back because of it. She has missed her big brother a lot during the past two weeks.

I am ridiculously happy and for those of you who don't know, have a facebook-status-change-worthy dude in my life. Mitch is his name, and he makes me smile. He makes me laugh and he's just as nerdy as me, maybe even more. He's cute. He gets me. He likes to garage sale. He's fun. He's cute. He has two spectacular daughters, Sam and Kim, who are 12 and 16.  If you haven't had the pleasure of meeting him, I'd be willing to make a bet that you will easily fall for him too.

I am looking forward to lots of events this week - volunteering on Tuesday night, Women Who Care, Share table host party on Thursday, a wedding and volunteer appreciation gig for the Y-dub this weekend. Busy week with lots of good things happening.

Sam Haddock, I am giddy with excitement for you but am not going to mention it yet because that would be too presumptuous of me. Oh, wait, oopsy.  Carrie Ebbesen - I hope you and your Ez have a GREAT time in the Phish-world. I am thinking of you and your dad lots and sending lots of love to you all.  Heather  - I know you are always in Feesh-world and I love you (and him for you) more every single time I am with yall. Jaime Leigh, I know things are in full-swing and I am super happy for your big day and can't wait to be a part of it.

As always, I appreciate you all and am thankful for the part we both play in each other's lives, no matter how big or small a part that is.

My son, the grownup

Alright, so it's time. Hunt's actually leaving today for college. I have a feeling things will never be the same. Not that that's bad, but Denton will change him somehow, and obviously thats s what's supposed to happen. It's progress. It's growth, it's wing-spreading and self-awareness and reality checks (on our part, as well as his), and fun, and umbilical cord cutting and exciting and beautiful and just right, not fun, but right still.

Hunt, you are leaving and taking a big part of me with you. I have watched you sleep many, many nights in the past 18 1/2 years and I will no longer have that opportunity but I am still with you. You are taking with you your grandpa's nightstand that he built with his own two hands, and your Mimi's Beatles quilt she made with her own two hands and your sister's old comforter and her very best friend since birth is going with you, so take good care of him. You are taking your dad's bicycle to move you around campus and a lock to help keep it safe from your Papa and DeeDee, along with lots of cool posters to remind you of home from them too. You're taking a microwave from Mitch and of course you're taking rugs and towels and all the other things you've collected either on your own or with the help of those who love you. You're taking the many many supportive "village members" who've not only watched you turn into the wonderful man you've become, but who've had a hand in it in one way or another. They each one feel personally vested in your future and your well-being and just so you know it - your happiness.  Know that each of those people, our families, our friends, and friends kids, our friends parents, ALL your grandparents, your aunts, your uncles, your nieces, your nephews, people who don't know you but know someone who does--- we're all rooting for you. We're all proud of you, and we all know you can do it. I feel safe in speaking for each and every one of "us" when I say, we are all here when you need anything, to talk, a ride home (from anywhere, anytime), to talk, to be there. We are counting on you to kick butt and take names. So go do your thing little man and I'll see ya next Sunday!

I love you,
Mom

happy's

Last week, I saw a quote - "what if tomorrow you only woke up with the things you were thankful for today?".  Well, folks, I'd hate to be unappreciative, so here goes:

I'm thankful for:

• Hunt's new Macbook (yep, I'm using it)
• Pinterest (the newest version of guilty pleasure!)
• sweet messages from my middle school friend reminding me she loves me
• purple sugar free koolaid
• breakfast with Ivey, Mimi, Sami and Syd-Vicious today!
• breakfast, lunch and dinner with my Fresh, Buffalo, Mimi, Poppy, grandparentals and Carrie (at different times) this week
• getting to share a Ranger game with friends and a few thousand others who seemed to enjoy being there, as well :)
• getting to have a birthday party for some of the little people in my world at our house next weekend and seeing family and friends to celebrate them
• the universe sending me the missing puzzle piece called Mitch. Well worth the wait.
• getting to go to work each day with people I adore and aspire to be more like doing what makes my heart happy - and getting paid to do it
• my big crazy weird family with all their quirkiness and warm fuzzys, too. Oh! Speaking of fuzzies--Fuzzy's Tacos, Yucatan Taco Stand, um, well, Taco places in general.
• for the things that are over, and the things that are yet to be.
• Hunter spreading his wings and taking off (yes, this is a little bit to keep from crying about it). I'm thankful that he's done what he's done, is going where he's going and the opportunity to be a part of it all. Mostly, though, I'm thankful for the next couple of weeks and the fact that he understands that I'm hanging on for dear life.
• First Day of School Breakfast that's coming soon! Even though it'll be different, we're doing it, so let me know if you're coming!
• Food in general
• knowing that I can perform an emergency wedding service in a pinch. 
• Ivey and her intuitiveness and thoughtfulness and just general way of being that makes me proud to know a person like her
• My two new pairs of "sensible shoes" and being complimented on how cute they are
• Getting to plan my cousin's wedding and be a part of their big day that's coming up fast!
• my little, messy, dog-hair rich, happy, fun house, but the thing I love most about my house is the people I share it with (no, I didn't think of that on my own -- PINTEREST!)
• all the many things I will think of throughout today that I forgot to mention here.

In short, I'm grateful for my health, my possessions and having enough of them to share with others, for my friends, for my love, for the things I have, for the things I don't and for exactly the way things are now and exactly the way they'll be tomorrow. Here's to health, love, and well-being for all.