Fancy dresses, funky wares and choosing happy

Phew! The holidays are over, and with it the slow wedding season, causing me to have a TON of time to myself with my feet up. HA! Really that couldn't be further from the truth, except for the lag in weddings for the past few months.

We have moved from our little warehouse hobby and opened a big ol' store where we peddle all things groovy. Antiques, office furniture, awesome glass figurines, funky costumes, crystal, lamps, funky stuff, ya know? So we're there, the first week's business was good, simply because we have the coolest friends who support us in a way we never expected. We buy estate sales regularly, so shop early, shop often - you'll see new stuff every time you come. We will give you our word. :) We're there Tuesday through Saturday 9a-6p (and will come early or stay late if we know you're coming!) Find us on Facebook and on our website! I would be remiss if I didn't sincerely thank a couple of people. Indi Jones Butler - for giving your time, fancy style, flair, sass and making things cay-ute! Mimi - who was layed off her job of over 40 years and has spent HOURS working and making things happen along with us. From painting to scrubbing and painting and moving and setting up and bringing lunch and keeping us laughing, painting and bringing dinner to sitting when I have to run out, to everything else she does every single day. Thank you, Mom!

 

All the shop openings were right in the slow time for weddings, and we finished just in time for them to ramp up again. Perfection in planning?! Officiating a lot in the coming months, doing quite a bit of planning and coordinating still at the Belltower Chapel & Garden. If you have friends who need help - of any kind - with a wedding, tell them to give me a call!

We are prom dress shopping for Ivey's senior prom. A fun experience to say the least. No but really. I am trying hard to ignore the fact that she turns 18 in a month. Yes, in four weeks she turns 18 and 8 weeks after that she will be graduated from high school. I remember being her age and she is so much wiser, so much stronger and has the world by the horns. As much as I want to not be sad about this wonderful milestone for her, allowing her to spread her beautifully mature wings, I can't help but selfishly want to hang on her ankles and beg her not to go. I know it's wrong. Because just as I watched her big brother blossom into the magnificently wonderful life he's growing into, I know she'll grow into her wings. Don't hear me wrong. I'm not apologizing for my selfishness and I won't hesitate to drive her to school, share a lunch with her during the schoolday or shop for glitzy fancy party dresses any chance I get. She's beautiful on the outside, but so much prettier on the inside. OK, I'm done now before I leak.

 

To each of you - a little late, but best wishes for a great 2013 and make it count. Love those who need loving, forgive who need forgiving and make the choice every day to be the best you there is.

 

 

 

Down in the Dumps.

Several people who are super important to me struggle daily with depression. Not just I-feel-sad-so-will-listen-to-some-sad-music-depression (although I'd bet there's far more of those, too), but really serious can't kick it depression.

As a Mom, I would love to say I have some stellar advice for it, but I have failed miserably here. Someone who is depressed is just that - depressed. They can't always bring themselves to the place they know they need to get to, to make the changes needed so that tomorrow will be different than today. For my inability to recognize this simple fact, I am sorry. My regrets are many surrounding this, and for that if one person gets anything out of this, I feel better. I can't fix those things, but I have learned a few others about it, so I will share the little that I do know.

So - if you struggle with that, this is obviously my attempt to give (unrequested) advice on what to do each and every day (aside from, of course, get professional help if you need it, because whether you want to admit it or not, you could almost 100% of the time benefit from that) to make sure that your tomorrow is as bright or brighter than today.

It sounds cheesy, but think happy thoughts. I know, every day isn't sunshine and lollipops (yes, I edited for g rating), but if something is eating away at you, fix it. If it's something you can't personally fix, figure out how you can manage and deal with it. If you can't, change the situation. Fix what you do have control over-- you reaction and feelings about it. Most of things that happened in the past can be "fixed" by acknowledging them. Either with the person that they happened with/for/because of or even on your own, but either way, free yourself from past.

Get out and do something for someone else. Someone who can't repay you, preferably. If you want to, make it simple - easy, anonymous. Pay for someone's soda at the store, leave a happy face note with a sweet note of encouragement on a windshield, volunteer (there are LOTS of places that need you that would be fun for you to volunteer at-call me. I can help if you need it!) I promise the game of it will improve your spirits.

Take care of something. Whether that's a cat, dog, plant, fish, sibling, yard, flowers, whatever. Take care of something and be the best care taker you can be. Spoil it rotten.

Talk to someone. Not just someone, but someone who is worthy of talking to. Someone who can not only listen, but hear without judgement. Someone who cares. But keeping it to yourself is quite possibly the worst thing you can do. Issues not dealt with eat at you and will surface on their own in another way. I know that sounds mumbo jumbo but I believe it wholeheartedly.

Get out a piece of paper and write down 10 things you have that you are grateful for. Don't forget the painfully obvious. Health is a great thing not to be taken for granted--just ask someone who has just been diagnosed with stage four cancer. A warm/cool place to sleep at night. Again, don't take anything for granted. Do this every day. Think of new things. Even the silly - your funny socks, or hairbows or gel finger nail polish or starbucks.

Talk to someone older than you. Think about yourself on the continuum of life and realize that although it is hard to see sometimes, our time on this planet is limited and whatever it is that is bothering you might not be worth the energy you're wasting. If it is, then work out a potential solution so that it's not a worry, but a triumph. If it's not, perspective sometimes is the best thing for it.

Celebrate yourself. When you do something (even something simple like getting out of bed when you don't feel like it), pat yourself on the back. Tell someone you did it so they can pat you on the back, too. People who love you are thrilled to have the opportunity to give you a high five and cheer you on. I promise. Let them.

I could go on and on, but the last thing I will leave you with is a bit harder sometimes. Fake it. If you are "in a bad mood", fake it. Not for everyone else's sake, but for your's. Put a smile on your face and I promise you if you hold it, you will actually feel differently. Fake it til you make it is part of lots of great songs, but it's true. Pretend to be outgoing/happy/proud/insert your own label here and not only will others see you that way, but you will, too.

From the bottom of my heart, know that you are cared about. I am always here. Anytime, day or night to listen, cheerlead if you need it, share a glass of wine, ice cream, laugh, or whatever else it is that your soul needs to find it's happy. I love you. Whether you think I am talking about you or not - I am.

Today

Today started the second week of Mitch's new job at the pain management clinic. He seems to like it a lot. He couldn't possibly hate the 40 hours a week, being home every day by 4:30 in the afternoon, a fraction of the patients he saw at the hospital, weekends and holidays off and that it is located in a really cool building near downtown Fort Worth.

I had an interview last Friday for a p/t gig at a non-profit doing community engagement. Will find out about it later this week or next. I felt good about the interview, but frankly don't have strong emotions one way or the other, since things are going so well as they are. It would be fun getting back into that as a staff person, though. It's a great non-profit and I'd love to be a part of their team.

I start wedding planning school tonight at UTA. Super stoked! Classes are on Monday nights.

Having Mitch home on the weekend allowed us to hit the mother of all estate sales on Saturday morning bright and early. They had vintage clothes, galore, lots of cool house stuff, lots of stuff to sale on ebay and craigslist (and lots not to, too). The f350 four door big o' truck was loaded to the gills and we realized that perhaps a 12-step program might be in store. But we aren't quitters.

I had the opportunity to witness a beautiful balloon release for a woman who passed away before it was time. I don't know her family, but I got to take photos of this beautiful expression of her life and am grateful I did. It was nothing short of gorgeous in the downtown, late-afternoon sun. Yet another reminder to love with all your heart, forgive quickly, laugh often and be the most you you can be.

righting a wrong

So tonight after dinner, I was sitting in the front yard reflecting on what a great day, and week and month and life I had, drinking a glass of wine, watching Mitch mow the front yard. Hunter and Mimi came over for dinner and ate with Mitch and Ivey and me. A lady walked by, that we see often walking her dog, and said, "Now that's how it's done. You've got him trained!".  I smiled and told her to have a good night, but didn't set her straight. I feel guilty about that, so I will now right my wrong.

I didn't tell her I didn't train him. He is a good man. That is for certain, but it has nothing to do with me. I didn't tell her he was a good man long before I met him. I didn't tell her about his integrity, loyalty, honesty. I didn't tell her that he worked twelve hours at the hospital before he came home. He ate some dinner with us and quickly got outside before it got dark to get the yard mowed. I didn't tell her that he works hard because he wants things for us. I didn't tell her he works hard to so we can work for ourselves. Although he doesn't mention it or have to do it, he works hard so he can give more than his required child support every month so that his girls can have extra things.

Now - for the record, I must now also give big public props to Josh Brumley, because he pays extra child support, too. He is a good dad, and Brumley - you can be sure that your kids know it. I make sure they do.

p.s. "Off" brand pocket shield things work really well. I didn't get bit - at all.

Things

If someone would have told me I wouldn't be working at the YWCA now, and would be out on my own, dabbling in a little bit of everything, and not looking back, I would have told you you were crazy.

2nd Chance Resale is going great, busy as ever and growing like crazy. We have made some brilliant strides recently, allowing us to make some great investments back into our business. AND - we are making plans -- BIG plans. More on that later!

Events by e - I have never been busier. From working events at Belltower, owned and operated by ACH (a wonderful organization that works to strengthen families and support children--check them out -- www.achservices.org), officiating and planning, my candle is burning at both ends, but has not seemed like work for one second.

I've been fortunate enough to stay involved in the non-profit community, and are busy helping who we want to when we can. It's a great transition and one I'm proud to say is going well!

Thanks for all your love, support and well-wishes. Let me know if there's funky furniture or other items you're looking for, if you're having a mammoth event and need help, or even a small private event you'd like a little support to help pull off, if you need a notary or anything else you think I can help with!

New beginnings

Just like sunrises and sunsets, there are times for everything. Times to come and time to go, time to begin and time to end. Time to know what you're holding and time to walk away. Oh - sorry.

Welp-We did it. Mitchell Jobe and I got married. Yep, I am now Erika Stanford Jobe. We had the greatest wedding (We would say so, though, wouldn't we?), exactly how we wanted it with exactly the right people there. (If you weren't there, please don't consider that in any way a diss, but we just choose to look at what was rather than what wasn't.) It was romantic, and fun, and sweet and funny and so 100% every bit me and Mitch each and us combined. I was never that girl who dreamt of a big wedding or fabulous designer dress, or never even wanted a spotlight and all else that goes along with that. That never interested me-for me. I love it for other people if that's their thing, and love getting to help them create reality out of their dream, but just had no desire of that for me. Although most everything was completely understated and easy-going (guests wore flip-flops, many wore shorts, and two even wore their "foot-loose, fancy free happy pants" as instructed to in the invitation --Rog, Deb, I love that you went through that much trouble and am so grateful for the words you spoke and the energy you brought. Simply beautiful.), it was also everything I'd hoped it would be. All the things we thought were important were exactly how they were planned. We had people we love and who love us there to celebrate and I got to finally use all the funky fabric I've been hoarding (yes, I'm outting myself) and it was almost 100% green. Nothing thrown away, with the exception of bottles, which were recycled. Heather married us to a Dr. Seuss woven medley she handcrafted herself with expert skill. Ivey, Kim, Hunter, Mimi, Brenda, Nana, Chris E., Butler, Feesh and Mr. Fabulous singer man who all delivered powerful prose. Wow. All poetic, beautiful, thoughtful, and much much appreciated, moving, inspiring and well, we're grateful.

Other than getting hitched and stuff, the biggest thing going on right now is after 10 great big heart bubble-full years, I have decided to leave the YWCA. I am going to go out and try things on my own. Since I have been on the side doing  day-of wedding coordinating for a while, and have done quite a few full-coordination/planning events for people I know and love, I am going to give that a go for a full-time gig. I know people (said in the ridiculous accent it was meant to be said in) so - if you know anyone getting married, pass on my name. I'd love to help! I need the experience and will give it my all. I am also going to help Mitch with Second Chance Resale. I'd love to help some small non-profits build their volunteer programs and well, just see where the world leads me.

Hunter moved out. Again. I am super happy for him, and I guess the fact that he has stayed here some has made it easier to manage. The slow go. (Thank you for that Hunter). Call him and check on him. He won't get mad if you do it. (and then call and let me know he's ok)  Ivey is gone, but only for a week thankfully, to camp. She starts her senior year next year, and oddly enough when she gets back from camp starts working - at the YWCA! She's going to be delivering sandwiches at lunch on a bicycle to the Sundance Square area. Snazzy, huh?

We leave next week for Fort Lauderdale for a little honeymoon. To say we are excited is kind of a gross understatement. We have spent the past eight weeks jumping and hopping every night planning for this spectacular event that turned out worth every second we spent preparing (in other words--not complaining!). We are now looking forward to nothing. On the beach. And maybe some margaritas. And some more nothing. On the beach.


Peace, love and the Jobe-ley's live happily ever after.

Three Thousand, six hundred and fifty days.

I consider myself lucky. Crazy lucky. For lots of reasons. The family I was fortunate enough to be born into. The family I was fortunate enough to assemble. Some of those I am lucky enough to get to work with, either daily, or on an occasional basis. I have been fortunate enough to get up every morning and go to a job that I love. In a couple of short weeks I will celebrate my 10 year anniversary here. I love the YWCA because it’s been good to me – personally and professionally, but way more than that I love it because of how much life-changing good “it” is to others. I get to do my tiny part to make the women and families we serve have more. More hope. More self-sufficiency. More opportunity.

It is a beautiful thing to get to tag along to such great work being done in this building. To say that I somehow have a small part in it all is an invigorating thing. During my time here we have experienced so much change. I have had pretty much every job not in direct program service-delivery here (somewhat of an exaggeration, but I’ve had a lot during those 10 years!). Ten years! That's a mighty long time - and it's swished by like a minute. Through the years, I have had many coworkers who have come and gone and volunteers who have done the same. Many are still here and I am proud to call them my family. The programs have evolved to remain relevant and vital and the vision has a sharpened focus, but the mission has remained steadfast. The work we do, although it looks somewhat different, has remained focused on the needs of women and children, which has been a steady calm in an ocean of change for both my professional and personal life. My children were 6 and 8 when I started at the YWCA. They have literally grown up here. They both volunteer regularly (volunTOLD as they affectionately like to call it). I have celebrated lots of personal milestones, and some heartaches during that ten years. I have seen residents leave here, get married here, have their babies and come back, watched them grow, and transform and believe me – having a front row seat for that is life-changing. I have literally watched lives transform. I have watched children learn to tie their shoes, and get the framework for learning in elementary school. These same children who otherwise would have started kindergarten having to play catch-up, simply because they weren't economically blessed at birth. I have seen brides play out their childhood dreams here in our beautiful building. I have seen an ice cream venture come and go, a Resale Shop flourish, events be crazy wildly successful and others happen. We have had lots of successes and have learned through some failures. I have worked with women (and a few men!) on a regional and national basis doing the same work in their own communities we are doing here. I have watched the women who work here (and a few men!) grow and be empowered and improvise and retool. I am forever changed by being given this front-row seat and have loved the ride. Every day is not sunshine and roses, there are opportunities for growth that are sometimes painful, but it’s a beautiful place to be and I am grateful to have a part to play.

If you are one of the few I have not asked to be involved, but would like to – let me know! Obviously I love the YWCA and the amazing work we do here but everyone has their own loves and I am not silly enough to think everyone’s passions are the same. Be a part of something that makes your heart smile. Even if it’s just for a second. You never know the ripple effect that will have. For you and for those you may help and mostly for those that are watching you to know how they are supposed to do it.